Writing For a Friend


Be careful with your words, they can and will be used against you. In emails with a friend recently I wrote the sentence “When you have to rationalize the decision not to, it’s time.” That struck her as something worth remembering and when she told me this, I realized I should have been cc’ing myself on that email because I needed to hear those words as well.

Many of you saw me last year in my initial half-hearted (half-something else) attempt at connecting my new found love of making jewelry with social media. I tried a post here and there on the usual platforms, but never really found my footing. So in the true style of many of us with an inner voice of doubt, I just stopped completely. Not only did I stop posting, I stopped creating. I left stacks of washers, knots of hemp and bamboo, and beautiful boxes of beads all to sit untended in the basement closet. After a bout of Marie Kondo-esque cleaning, I decided to sort through them all and get everything consolidated and arranged. I was prepared to tell them “thank you for that experience” as Marie tells us to do, but they did not go quietly into that good night. They put up a fight, insisting on being fused together again into strong pieces of jewelry that I love and want to share with the world.

I began to rebuild my relationship with my jewelry, and as is often the case when reconnecting with someone or something, discovered things about these items that I didn’t know before. The more time we spent together, the more time we wanted to spend together. I decided if we were going to have a real meeting of the minds, this time it needed a real commitment. But the closer I got to making the commitment, (i.e., website, craft shows, this blog), the voice of doubt got louder and louder. It was so deafening one night that I told everyone around me that I wasn’t doing any of it anymore and was just going to list the great new high top table I had bought for craft shows on Craigslist and quit the whole endeavor.

Then, I emailed my friend about her own life - “When you have to rationalize the decision not to, it’s time.” I was and still am right, for her, for myself and maybe for you. Do you have that great idea you want to try? A mountain you want to climb? A song or book you want to write? Maybe it’s a new relationship you think might have potential, but what if it doesn’t work out?

I think it’s probably time - time to try, climb, write, or fall in love. Don’t wait. Try. Climb. Write. Fall in love.  

We all know the adage that it’s the things we don’t do, not what we do, that we regret. So find the reasons why instead of why not. If it doesn’t work out, you can rationalize it later. Your inner voice will be glad to say “I told you so,” but that voice is probably wrong. So tell yourself what you would tell a friend. If it’s good enough advice for them, it’s good enough advice for you.